I AM WHO I AM!

   I have not written in a blog in a while. My previous blog I deemed outdated and inadequate for my new and currant purposes. I am a Writer, and the best way for a Writer to blow off steam is to WRITE! Unless of course the thing you need to blow off steam about is your Writing. In which case I recommend a nice leisure paced walk.
   A incident occurred today, because I am who I am. Who am I? For the record? I AM TRANSGENDER! I AM ON HORMONES! I AM TRANSITIONING! I AM MALE TO FEMALE! I am who I am. However as a side note, I don't believe MtF is a reliable term to relate to people just who I am and what I am doing.
   So before we get to the incident of today some background must be giving. I attend a certain school, a privately funded school. Here is their mission statement minus the school name.

 "This School, a school for adults with learning disabilities. Our mission is to help individuals diagnosed with Autism, Aspergers, ADHD, Executive Functioning Deficits, Dyslexia, Dyscalculia, or Dysgraphia, or other learning disabilities gain skills that lead to interdependent and fulfilling lives. We do this through case management, clinical services, education, employment, health/fitness, and recreational therapy. Through our residential or day-time programming, students learn about their disabilities and how to accommodate for them. This School provides the safe environment necessary for students with learning disabilities to help gain knowledge and confidence in the path that lies before them."

    
   So I attended this school for sometime. Many of the staff knew of my Gender Identity before I even told them. For most of the staff there have either a Social Workers Degree or better. A few including those in charge knew when I actually started Transitioning, because I told them. And here is the real kicker! The Administrator, who this incident surrounds, gave me permission to dress as well me! Sounds too good to be true doesn't it.  
      Well shortly after this I arranged to have Case Management and Therapy at a as needed bases. I had become depressed around that time, and just didn't want to be anywhere. I fell into a slump. The icing on the cake was when my Doctor over seeing my Transition was arrested. 
    Then out of no where a Trans-Clinic opens, yes here in Utah! The staff where accepting and helpful, The Doctor listened and was concerned. At last Health Care and some understanding for those of us with no insurance.
   I quit smoking that very day after my visit with my new doctor. I made more changes to my diet. I increased the distance of my walks. I had motivation! 
   This was all little over a week ago. My first new route I walked all the way across town to my school SIX MILES! I arrived and everyone was surprised to see me to say the least. I thought to myself I need this again. Classes would be good. Something in the gym with the trainer perhaps and get in the Writers Group would be great! The social aspect would be good for me too as all my friends are in SLC or Ogden area. 
   They held a Student Review to change my status from Follow up to Day Student so I could attend classes once more. I didn't know a Wolf wearing Sheep's clothing lurked in the shadows.Wolf spelled B-I-G-O-T. 
    I walked into the conference room where they held the review and it was quiet.I found this strange for most there were usually very vocal in these meetings. The Administrator seemed to have taking the reigns this time for everyone kept their heads pretty much bowed the entire time. That to was strange, for it was usually a open forum for all to discuss things. Not this time!
   He said out right to me, We believe it is time you moved on and we terminate you from our school. Our basis being your MENTAL state, stability and outbursts. That staff should not have to handle such outbursts and I should be elsewhere to receive help for my Mentality. 
   I told him outright I was not here to receive help for my mental well being, though I admit therapy is nice to have available. I told him what I was there for, To progress further in my own personal goals, and to ride this motivation and use it as best I can. It didn't satisfy him, nor would it have apparently. 
   He wouldn't hear any of that, but again brought up my Mental state, my mental outbursts, my mental instability. Surrounding such statements with, you have the Adult TG group and that Therapist in SLC to help with that. 
     I knew then nothing I said or did would change his mind. I looked around for help, but had none. Heads were down and eyes were averted. The meeting was adjourned and I was terminated from my School.
    I talked to my Case Manager afterwards in his office and asked him. Correct me if I am wrong or reading into it, but did I just get kicked out by a bigot for being Transgender? He nodded his head and said there's a little more but it boils down to that yes. I knew, but only asked to see if I could at least get some sort of conformation from at least one staff member. Just one to Admit it! Even if it was only him and I in the room.
    So here I am now blowing off steam by creating and writing a new blog. I am who I am. I am still here.I am Transgender. I am Visibly Me Maxine Marie!