Destinations......

   When one starts at point A on a map and travels along they expect eventually to arrive at point B. That is assuming that point A was the perfect place to start from in the beginning. For those of us in Transition we don't go from point A to point B and arrive at our destination. Oh no! We have to continue onward for a while longer in a roundabout route to get to the same point on the map of those who don't "need" to transition to feel comfortable in their own skin.
  I was not born Biologically a Girl, but I knew in every aspect of my being I was one from the beginning. Beginnings to Destinations. A lifetime journey of heartache, mental anguish, soul searching, and self discovery.      
    I've watch female friends and family as we traveled through life go from point A to point B. Let's call it Growing  Up. While I had to travel a paralleled road. The wrong road! A dead end.
    My point B wasn't my destination it was Limbo Airport and my Flight was delayed, cancelled, Visa expired. I had to live in that Airport surviving anyway I could. I couldn't go back the way I came, no one can.
   Finally I managed to get a temporary Visa and found a flight out of there but only to land at Purgatory Airways. Point C on my map, and while I still had my Visa I couldn't go any further.
   New concepts came my way here, and I left the Airways from time to time to explore. However I always came back. I had no where else to go.
   Suddenly life there became cruel I had to get out and I bought a ticket. I didn't know where I just had to go. I boarded another plane and left point C and headed to Point D, backtracking a little bit in the process. That made things worse.
   Welcome to Happy Valley! A vacant eyed stewardess with a false smile said as I landed. The phrase was repeated to me many times while I was there, and I too became vacant eyed and had a false smile soon enough.
   Ten years I spent at Point D in a stupor. Ten years that turned Point D into a nightmare. Happy Valley's road sign would flicker in my eyes at times and I would start to seize, and fall to the ground only to wake up and groggily wonder what was going on.
   I moved down the valley to Point E at the end of those 10 years. Not much of a move but it made a big difference in my life. It made it worse. The people here weren't only vacant eyed, they were zealous with Happy Valley! I woke up to my surroundings at this point and the sign stopped flickering and Happy Valley's true name appeared. Hades.
   Hades, how did I end up here? Family and Friends trip's went by so easier than this. I am sure they had their own road bumps along the way, but I am also sure they didn't have to go beyond point B to get there. Now here I am at point E wondering what the heck to do now. Where do I go from here? I was so confused, and not only couldn't Happy Valley help me anymore it scared me.

   I sought answers to Happy Valley and what future it held for me. It was an empty hollow, dark, dirt road with nothing but wind blowing through the trees that over hung it like a tunnel. The trees were lifeless, another dead end.
  However there was another road nearby. It was paved, well lit, and showed promise of answering questions that plagued me. I knew where this road would possibly lead me, but I had spent fifteen years now in Happy Valley, Hades. I had to try something different, something I had not before. I took that first step.
  That first step lead to more steps for I was getting answers. I was changing. Then one day I was happy, for I realized on my own two feet I was getting to a final point on my map. The point friends and family called B, my point F. And when I get there I shall be Visibly Me Maxine Marie!