Limited Limited

  I am down to three shirts, a single pair of pants, limited underwear, and four pairs of socks. That is the result of weight loss when it comes to clothing. My mother had been doing laundry and at the time of my walk it was done. I asked her to please change it over by the time I get back so I could put mine in. A simple and reasonable request under the circumstances. She said she would I was unsure about that considering she was hacking and slashing at things in her game on her computer.
  I left for my walk and found it to be snowing outside, I immediately came back inside and grabbed a second jacket. I told my mother about the snow and reminded her again about her laundry which again received a tedious response. I shrugged and left again for my walk into the snow.
  I did about three miles that day walking in the snow. It wasn't sticking on the ground thankfully but puddles were forming everywhere. I was quite cold and quite thankful by the time I got home. Not to mention soaked.
   When I walked in the house my mother was still hacking and slashing at beasts and monsters on her computer. No surprise there. I simply asked if she had switched her laundry out while I was gone. No came her reply. I'll do it in a minute she said. I replied please do I need to get mine in. Now at times like when she is at work I would of switched it out myself. However it takes only a couple minutes to take clothes out of a dryer put them in a basket and put the batch in the washer into said dryer. Ten minutes later she still had not gone in to do so. I reminded her again by saying Mom get your laundry so I can get mine in. She freaked and yelled at me and stomped up the hallway to do it. She said you have all day to do your laundry. I lost it and yelled back that I didn't have all day. I had no clothes to wear specially now that I had added my pants and jackets to the pile they being soaked. I told her just what my clothing options were which are listed up above. She at least did her laundry went back into her room and slammed her door. Believe she was more mad about the time lost from her game than having to do the laundry.
   As limited as my clothing is right now I really hope she does not get it in her head to take me shopping. She will not face my transition. Every time we are in a clothing store for me it's the men's department and I become depressed. It's like again, mom. Your going to force me to continue to live this way longer? Unhappy and discontent with myself. Not to mention dangerous to dress that way.
   Yes Dangerous! My transition has reached a point where continuing to dress even remotely as a man can get me into a lot of trouble. I know some will argue the reverse to be true as well. However I am more comfortable as a woman and appearing more and more as one.
   Everyday brings new noticeable changes in my Transition. With Spring here and weather sure to turn warmer shortly. I wont have an excuse to wear a jacket to cover up certain changes. It isn't really doing that now and I don't want to cover up these changes. I want to live!
   Perhaps if my mother sees me as me, if she takes her eyes off the computer screen long enough, she can come to acceptance finally. I however cannot spare her feelings on the matter and ignore mine. Right now I'm limited, stuck. I've got to move on specially since I am changing my name and gender marker shortly, and living comfortably full time as yourself is not only a requirement but a necessity. I'm trying but I only have so much to work with and only so many options available to me.
   Finding a job is even more difficult now than it was before. I am writing my book as I look for work and friends are keeping eyes open for me. However I will not get a job here in Utah County. I will not get stuck here of all places. Here where my friends worry about my safety and I worry well about the County in general. This is how things currently stand with Visibly Me Maxine Marie.