Constructive Destruction

   I've about had it up over my head with my Mother. I know that when people like me Transition it can be difficult on loved ones. However my Mother refuses to even face life let alone my Transition.
    We were both MMORPG players. I actually got her into it just as her brother, my uncle introduced me to the thrills of online gaming. However I still left room in my life for other things besides work and gaming.
    Hanging with friends, going on walks, going to a movie, a play, hell even reading a book! I could and would even leave those MMORPG's for months at a time because I needed a break. Not my Mother though, she has been playing for Nine Years straight!
   Our relationship as Mother and Child has suffered to say the least. Though it has always stood on rocky ground. And now when asked or talked to about my Transition, she says I don't want to talk about it, or one worded responses. I should mention that while she does her eyes are focused on the computer screen. She than pushes a push to talk key and talks to someone through her computer.
   In times past I use to have to hide the cords before she would get home from work. Just so I could talk to her. Right now I feel like cutting the internet connection into pieces. We don't have the money to buy a new cable, and she isn't knowledgeable about wireless connections.
    Today I had done some eye makeup and asked her to look at it. She wasn't being nice about it. Actually about the nicest thing she said was, "I don't like you wearing eye shadow." I asked her why she wears makeup. Because if she doesn't like me wearing it, I want to hear why she wears makeup! She said, "Because I want to." I told her well there we are than, and I walked out of the room pissed.

    I went on a short walk, however when I arrived back home I still felt pissed off to no end. There were some clothes in the hallway, former "Man" clothes I planned on getting rid of as soon as I got them washed an organized. That is no longer necessary for a few of them.
    I managed to find some scissors, and a few snips later some old jeans were nothing but scraps. There were some ragged T-Shirts mixed in the bunch as well. I managed to snip and tare these apart.
    My Mother happened upon my CONSTRUCTIVE DESTRUCTION, and she didn't take it so well. However as I said above she is pretty predicable. She was back at her monitor and keyboard playing her game.
     You know it's dawned on me recently. My Mother may have a job, but I have a life and I'm actually progressing in it. I may be at home while she is at work, but I am reading or writing my own book. We both have issues and illnesses, but at least I am facing mine and not letting it control me. I may be a dependent right now, but I am motivated to get elsewhere in life. Where will she be when I have Transitioned and finally able to move on? Isn't it obvious? I am continuing on and as always I am Visibly Me Maxine Marie!